Sources Of Stress For Families Of Children With Autism
Sources Of Stress For Families Of Children With Autism
Parents are already familiar with the stress that comes with preparing meals, bathing, homework, shopping and so on. In addition to these stressors are those parents meet with parent-child conflicts, time schedules to meet and a child’s well-being in general. A family who has a child on the autism spectrum experiences added unique stressors.
Current research suggests that parents of children with autism experience greater stress than parents of children with intellectual disabilities and Down Syndrome. A child with autism may not be able to express basic wants and needs in the same manner as individuals without the disorder. Parents are often guessing why the child is crying. Is it because he/she is hungry, thirsty, hurting or sick? Not being about to determine the child’s needs can leave parents feeling frustrated and filled with sorrow. The child with autism unable to communicate with its parents effectively may be left frustrated and unhappy. This frustration can lead to aggression and self-injury behaviors that can make the child a danger to himself and to other family members.
A lack of appropriate leisure, play and social skills often require constant structure of family time, which can become quite difficult to accomplish in the home environment. Families may not be able to attend events together at scheduled times. Mom might have to stay home with the child who has autism, while dad take another sibling to their baseball game or school band concert. This in turn can create problems in the marital relationship in addition to whatever other problems already exist. There is often a lack of qualified people who can care for the autistic child while mom and dad find time to spend alone.
Additional problems may be struggles with getting the child with autism to sleep through the night or eat a wide variety of foods for proper health and nutrition.
Other sources of stress for parents of children with autism may include:
• Reactions from society: Parents may feel self-conscious about taking a child with autism out into the community. The may fear others will stare or make rude comments about their child. These problems may leave parents of children with autism experiencing a sense of isolation from friends, relatives and community
• Concerns about future care: Parents know they provide their children with autism the best care possible and they fear that no one else will take care of their child like they do.
• Finances: Evaluations, home programs and therapies can drain a family’s resources. One parent may have to give up his or job to take care of the child leaving the family with even less money to meet financial obligations.
• Feelings of Grief: Many parents of children with autism grieve the loss of the “typical” child they expected to have. They also grieve the loss of a lifestyle they expected or planned for themselves and their family. This can be an additional source of stress on the family, which is ongoing.
Sibling’s sources of stress may include:
• Embarrassment around their peers and jealousy about the extra time parents have to spend with their brother or sister
• Frustration about not being about to communicate effectively with a brother or sister who has autism
• May be the target of aggressive behaviors of the child with autism
• Worries over their parents stress and grief about the child with autism
• Concern about their role as a future caregiver for the sibling or siblings with autism
Grandparents also grieve over the loss of the typical grandchild expected and may be concerned about the stress and difficulties their children are experiencing. Grandparents often want to help but lack the skills to deal with children who have autism.
How can families cope with the stress of living with a child or children who have autism?
Some suggestions for helping families may include:
• Remember that you must take action before progress toward solutions can be made
• Take time for yourself and other family members to avoid burnout
• Keep in mind that just a few minutes per day can make a big difference in taking time for yourself
• Do things for yourself that you know normally makes you feel better
• Parents who have children with autism have a greater need to reward themselves
• Family members need to reward one another
• Spouses need to acknowledge the hard work each is performing
• Thank siblings for watching or helping their brothers and sisters who have autism
• Spouses need to find time for alone. This may include watching T.V. together when the children are asleep or going out to dinner
• Families may also want to engage in activities occasionally without the individual with autism. Everyone deserves some time together that is not threatened by the challenges of autism.
• Network with other families affected by autism
• Attend support groups for parents, siblings and grandparents through educational programs, parent resource centers, and local chapter of the Autism Society of America.
• Prayer
• Exercise/yoga
• Keeping a journal
• Keeping a daily schedule of tasks to accomplish
If you witness a family member or a friend showing signs of stress even if it means you will not be appreciated for your efforts, getting as much assistance for a child with autism and their families can only make things better over the long term.
Source: American Autism Society
Disclaimer: *This article is not meant to diagnose, treat or cure any kind of a health problem. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Always consult with your health care provider about any kind of a health problem and especially before beginning any kind of an exercise routine.
This article is FREE to publish with the resource box.
About the Author
Connie Limon. Visit us at http://www.about-autism.info for more information about autism spectrum disorders.
Anecdotal reports support newer forms of play based behavioural therapies and alternative methods involving vitamins and dietary restrictions, although many autism treatment experts vigorously disagree over whether these offer benefit.
You heartless, judgemental fools. How dare some of you assume you could ever begin to imagine the pain and suffering these parents faced daily (with the exception of the parents who kill their very young autistic children, because frankly, they haven’t lived the pain that long to snap) Some people’s autistic children are so severely autistic, it’s a far different scenario than the high functioning to moderate faces of autism slapped on the pages of magazines and movies. Imagine the torture and torment of dealing with constant screaming, humming, stimming (banging hands on walls and tables for hours), stomping feet, running into walls, banging heads into concrete, scratching pieces of flesh from their skin, eating inedible objects, smearing fecal matter on sheets and trying to eat it, poking fingers in eyes, mouth, nose and in private parts. Yes, a far different picture than the picture you are given in your mind by the fantastical, drive by-ignorant media. Oh, if you only knew what parents of these types of autistic children suffered you wouldn’t dare to judge. Few journalists would even know how to write a story this bizzare. The lives some of these parents face with severe autism is like being in a war zone, on endless tours of duty, and you’re in a field, with people shooting at you and your child, and all around you, are people wearing signs, saying, “we are here to help,” and each time you run to one of those people, they tell you, “ooops, you’re child is too severe, go to the next person.” And so you are sent in circles, until you realize you’re not getting any help, and you’re stuck in the field, walking around landmines, and dodging bullets. Now I’m not saying go ahead and justify the killing of your autistic child, or justify suicides. Don’t do it! Get help (ha ha…as if there is real help for us outside 24/7 respite care and a team of highly trained specialists who know your child and know exactly what to do, daily) No, what I am saying is you who judge, where the HELL were you when congress was slashing and cutting services to severely disabled populations? Where were YOU, you self righteous pukes, when Governors cut programs to help keep respite care programs afloat? So spare us your behind the computer comments about how evil are the moms or dads of these kids and how they should go to hell, because they were already in hell, my friends, and that’s why they had to escape because there was no way out of the burning embers around them. Their lives were heaps of ashes and broken dreams, created mainly by the false hopes and fake faces of autism, thanks to people like Jenny McCarthy or McFraud, and other shysters like her. The reality is: for many of these parents and families: Nobody was there to comfort to them, or give them the respite or support they so desperately needed and I’m sure, oh, yes, I’m positive, dozens SAW their pain and willfully ignored it. Dozens sensed their suffering and turned the other way to watch Dancing with Stars. Or jump on a plane to bring toys to an Orphanage in Africa. Indeed, if you look closely, at each case, an army of so called professionals knew the moms and dads of these cases were suffering. Needed more help, based on the severity of their autistic children’s needs, but they didn’t do enough. They didn’t want to help. They failed to help. They didn’t do their jobs and left these parents drowning in a neverending sea of sorrow, helplessness and crushing disappointments. Instead of pretending you have a clue what the pain is of handling severe autism, how about you write your congressman or woman and remind them of the continual need to TRIAGE the system serving disabled, so the most severe cases of autism are given the most help, before it’s too late.
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To Johnne, hi there! Just wanted to say…not sure that they were being judgmental (more like just not explaining thoroughly what we go through!), but also want to say….THUMBS UP for expressing the pain and frustration! Most of this sounds very familiar! feacal smearing…Now that was a fun experience! Getting advice that all she needed was more sensory things to play with etc etc from people fresh from university……two and a half years of this, and i finally worked out on my own how to stop her from doing it! I live in Australia and government also keeps slashing funding for disability help! My daughter went through serious aggression problems where even the Special developmental school was seriously considering suspension because they couldnt control it!. Obviously concern for themselves far outweighed the difficulties of a single mum trying to protect her child , herself and the public from getting badly hurt…. I asked for help for 3 years with the aggression…it wasnt until i broke down and started yelling and crying this year and getting stuck into people, that things started moving…..but a few weeks later, help stopped again! Looks like its back to the drawing board…..sigh!