Stay Out of Bad Neighborhoods (in your mind) and Mindfulness
As an autism parent, worry is never far from one’s thoughts. My wife and I have been attending a Mindfulness group for parents of kids with special needs. It’s part of a research project and they measure our stress levels several times (saliva samples to measure Cortisol levels, blood draw, and periodic questionnaires) over the course of the six week program. The group focuses on learning various techniques related to Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. There’s a lot of Buddhist influence, but the gist of the training is to get us more focused on living in the NOW, which is where our life actually happens.
This is hugely beneficial to anyone parents a child with special needs. All too often we live in the past (did I cause this, what if I had done this treatment, what if I had done so and so when my child was younger) or the future (what will happen when I am gone, what if my kid wanders, drowns, is abused, etc.) Just getting more accustomed to spotting these thoughts is very helpful in bringing us back to the present. We often take something and “add to the story” to the point that we are focusing on the worst possible outcome. A saying that has been bringing me back to the present when I start down the auto-pilot path to doom and gloom is “STAY OUT OF BAD NEIGHBORHOODS.” Dwelling in the worst scenarios and replaying them over and over again robs us of the present moment, which in reality is all we have to work with.
Much like the safety instructions on an airplane that we cover our own faces first with the oxygen mask before that of our child, parents of kids with special needs need to make a real effort to take care of themselves first. Just like with the oxygen example where taking care of the child first could result in both of you being dead, ignoring your own needs can mean that you aren’t there for your child. You both suffer in the long run.
“The present is only this very moment.”
What is Mindfulness?
- Mindfulness is simple: paying attention in the present moment.
- Mindfulness is profound: the present moment is where our lives unfold, where our tenderness and our strength reside, and where choice is possible. It can inform our interactions at home, on the freeway, in the supermarket, and at work.
Mindfulness is kind: it asks that we cultivate compassion for ourselves and others as we move through life.
Here’s how Wikipedia describes the benefits of mindfulness-based stress reduction …
The program is visited by many individuals, ranging from those who are sick, mentally or physically, to professionals and businesspeople. The reason for this is that mindfulness-based stress reduction programs have a variety of very powerful benefits for those practicing the techniques and meditation offered. These benefits include an increase in the body’s immune system’s ability to ward off disease, a shift from a disposition towards right prefrontal cortex, associated with anxiety, depression, and aversion, to the left prefrontal cortex, associated with happiness, flow, and enjoyment. Other benefits include a different and less invasive way of healing patients with chronic pain related illnesses, a reduction in debilitating stress and the hormones that come along with it,(such as cortisol,) and an improvement in one’s overall happiness and well-being in life.
In the conclusion of “Mindfulness-based stress reduction and health benefits: A meta-review”, the 2003 meta-review mentioned earlier, we read, “Our findings suggest the usefulness of MBSR as an intervention for a broad range of chronic disorders and problems. In fact, the consistent and relatively strong level of effect sizes across very different types of sample indicates that mindfulness training might enhance general features of coping with distress and disability in everyday life, as well as under more extraordinary conditions of serious disorder or stress. Another recently published study employing different inclusion criteria and a somewhat divergent strategy also provides additional support for the effectiveness of mindfulness interventions. In both investigations, improvements were consistently seen across a spectrum of standardized mental health measures including psychological dimensions of quality of life scales, depression, anxiety, coping style and other effective dimensions of disability. Likewise, similar benefits were also found for health parameters of physical well-being, such as medical symptoms, sensory pain, physical impairment, and functional quality-of-life estimates…”[2]
Three Stress Reduction Exercises
Related:
- MBSR for Parents Course Information (Online Course)
- Mindfulness and Dealing with Stress
- Conventional vs Mindfulness Intervention in Parents of Children With Disabilities
- Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Exercises and Techniques
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Filed under: Family, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, Stress
